weekly soundtrack

The Car Tunes Edition

Even though it’s a 2002 model, my new car doesn’t have a CD player.  Base models only came with a cassette player, which was a bit of an insult even in 2002.  For the first month or so I listened to the radio.  Mostly 98.5 The Sports Hub.  I love Toucher and Rich.  This morning they challenged Deadspin editor A.J. Daulario to name all the members of the ’80s hair-band Cinderella, and then mocked him when he couldn’t remember the bassist’s name.  What does that have to do with sports?  Not a thing, but they freely admit that they barely know anything about sports, so their extended non-sports-related tangents are the most entertaining parts of the show.

Anyway.  After dinner on Thanksgiving day Lisa and I were chatting with her brother and he mentioned that she still had several cassette cases stashed under the bed in her old room.  Bingo!  After she dusted them off we rummaged through them and mocked her musical taste.  Donna Summer?  Really?

I picked out the best ones for myself.  Now my car is like a rolling music museum with a soundtrack straight outta Dazed and Confused. Aerosmith’s first album?  I got it.  Frampton Comes Alive?  Better fuckin’ believe it.  Led Zeppelin?  “Could I interest you in something from Presence, sir?”

I still listen to The Sports Hub, but the addition of these tunes has made my car a whole lot cooler:

“(I Know) I’m Losing You” by Rod Stewart from Every Picture Tells A Story

If you still don’t think that Rod Stewart was a brilliant singer then this should be all the proof you need.  Care to name a better Motown cover?  Yeah, I thought so.

“Show Me The Way” by Peter Frampton from Frampton Comes Alive

Ugh!  The Talk Box was the Auto Tune of the ’70s: annoying, ubiquitous and distracting.  Frampton’s reliance on it is puzzling because he really is a great and lyrical guitarist.  I’ll chalk it up to youthful immaturity only because I like this song.  “Do You Feel Like We Do” gets no such pass.

“No Quarter” by Led Zeppelin from Houses Of The Holy

This gets the nod (just barely) over “The Song Remains The Same” because it has such a badass main riff.  Plus, kudos to John Paul Jones for the spookiest electric piano sound ever.  Actually, there’s a lot of weird sounds floating around in this tune.  Check out all the distorted counter-melodies in the guitar solo.  It’s little things like that that keep me playing this over and over.

random song

Thanks to all for the blessings and well wishes.  I’ll be sure to let you know if I get a spinal tap done.

“Glass Museum” by Tortoise

I swear Coldplay ripped this song off, I just can’t prove it.

medical update

My doctor’s office called me this morning and said that she wants to see me this afternoon. I don’t really know what to make of that, but to say that I’m a nervous wreck right now would be an understatement.

(Update: The MRI showed lesions on my brain.  I need to get another MRI and meet with a neurologist.  My doctor said it’s likely that I’ve got Multiple Sclerosis, but they won’t know until they rule out a few other things.

You know, I was really hoping for a pinched fucking nerve.)

medical update

The tingling feeling in my fingers and toes is slowly going away.  Unfortunately, it’s being replaced by a feeling of numbness.  It feels like someone shot up my left hand with novacaine.  And my lower back feels the same way.  I’m trying to take this in stride, but it’s a bit of a bummer to wake up every morning and find out that yet another part of me doesn’t feel right.

My blood tests came back this afternoon clean as a whistle, which is kind of a drag.  If they told me I had a simple vitamin deficiency I’d already be on my way to feeling normal.  Now I have to plug along until my MRI (Thursday morning at 7 AM?  Why did I do that to myself?) and hope they find a pinched nerve or some other obvious shit.  And that’s just bogus, man.

random everything

I know it’s been a while since I posted anything, but it’s not like I haven’t tried.  I’ve written a bunch of different drafts of shit, but they all seemed a bit lacking.  I’m just gonna let it fly today and see where it goes.

Random Song

“Everybody’s Got Something To Hide (Except Me And My Monkey)” by the Feelies

All I’m gonna say about this is that it takes some kinda balls to cover a song and then deliberately not play the iconic guitar melody that comes at the end of the chorus.  Well done, Feelies, well done.

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Lisa and my daughter and I bought our Christmas tree last night.  It’s fucking awesome.  I never had a tree when I lived by myself because my place was so fucking tiny, and call me unimaginative but it’s hard for me to get into the spirit of the season without a tree.  Even though we haven’t decorated it yet it makes me happy.

Another Random Song

“Just Like Heaven” by Dinosaur Jr.

I understand how this version could seem like a desecration to some.  I’m a huge fan of the original version by the Cure, but I fell in love with this the instant I heard it.  Maybe it’s just the romantic in me, but I don’t think there’s a love song alive that wouldn’t benefit from a screaming guitar solo and shouted hardcore-style vocals.

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My daughter and I walked around a mall last week and she kept singing, “It’s, it’s a ballroom bliss.”  I kept correcting her, “It’s a ballroom blitz,” but she kept saying she liked the way her version sounded.  We had this conversation about thirty-five times in a row.

My advice to you, dear reader, is to never get into an argument with a six year-old, and I only recently figured out why.  Kids love to prolong meaningless discussions because they have nothing better to do with their time.  You have a full day of work plus laundry and traffic and cooking to deal with.  Your kid does nothing all day except think up devious ways to fuck with your head.  I love my daughter with all my heart, but she can be a real ball-buster when she wants to.

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Around the middle of September I got this weird tingling feeling that ran from my elbow to the pinky and ring finger of my right hand.  I went to the doctor and she thought it was carpal tunnel syndrome.  I bought a sweet wrist brace and wore it for a couple of weeks and the feeling went away.

Recently the tingling feeling started in all five toes of my right foot.  A few days later it showed up in all five toes of my left foot.  The other day I woke up and not only were both feet tingling, but the pinky and ring finger of my left hand were tingling too.  Lisa told me in no uncertain terms that if I didn’t see a doctor that very day my tingling toes would be the least of my concerns.  Luckily for me my doctor had a free time slot.

While I was at work that day I did a quick web search of my symptoms and the results were (as you would suspect) less than encouraging.  I might have had a mini-stroke (not as sexy as it sounds), or I might have a thyroid problem, or diabetes, or MS, or some fucking unpronounceable nerve problem.  I swear to God, I have no idea why anyone would ever type a single symptom into a search box and read the results.  You could enter “sunny outlook on life” and get thirty deadly diseases as a result.

I’m waiting to get the results of my blood tests, and I need to call next week to schedule an MRI (which my doctor had to jump through hoops to get approved).  All I can say is that this crap better not interfere with the trip Lisa and I are taking to Tahiti.  Not that we’re going anytime soon, but you know where I’m coming from.

random video

I’ve posted this video before, but it always makes me laugh.  My daughter likes it too.  Sometimes we drive around shouting “Maybe you do, man!” at each other.  Sometimes I really wonder which one of us is the six year-old.

anticipation

You know how girls of a certain age hyperventilate and get all giddy at the merest mention of those Twilight movies?  That’s the way I feel regarding the release of the film version of The Greatest Book Ever Written In Any Earthly Language.

Quite frankly, The Road could be the shittiest movie ever made and I’d still want to go see it.  I’m dying to see how they try to translate the climax of the book (which, mostly, takes place inside the minds of the two characters) into a visual medium.

If I was the director the film would consist of a single shot of Viggo Mortensen reading the novel aloud, but that might be a tough-sell at a pitch meeting.

open letter to those who jog in the rain

Dear Sir or Madam,

Just what are you trying to fucking prove?  I mean, it’s fucking pouring out here.  If I didn’t have to drive my daughter to her ballet class I’d sure as shit still be on the couch watching cartoons in my sweatpants.  Fuck it, I have no desire to slog around in this shit today, and yet there you are pounding along the health trail in front of my house, practically running over lesser pedestrians on Comm Ave, and just generally acting like some kind of fucking übermensch douche-bag.

Why can’t you do some jumping-jacks in your living room?  Go run up and down the stairs of your apartment building for a half-hour.  At least then you’d be dry, but noooooo, you wouldn’t be able to make such a spectacle of your sacrifice to fitness, would you?   You wouldn’t be able to lord your cardiovascular excellence over the rest of us, would you?  Frankly, your dedication bores me.

Even a dog has the sense to get out of the rain.  Why don’t you think about that sometime?

weekly soundtrack

Just chilling on Friday night with my daughter.  We’re braiding gimp and waiting for The Wizard of Oz to come on.  Oh, and I’m playing her a bunch of songs she’s never heard before.  Currently she’s dancing like a crazy person to “Ballroom Blitz.”  You really gotta see it.

“Life Begins At The Hop” by XTC

XTC comes as close to the Platonic ideal of a pop band as is humanly possible. They write catchy tunes, fill them with clever lyrics and ear-catching sonic details (I mean, just listen to all the little guitar parts that crop up in this song), and they never descend to the Lowest Common Denominator kind of humor that some other bands like to traffic in. Perhaps that’s why they’ve never really been as popular as they should have been. Maybe they’re just too damn smart for their own good.

“I Got Loaded” by Los Lobos

You know the Mariachi band that was playing at that Mexican restaurant you ate at last week?  Now imagine that they are secretly one of the most flexible and effortlessly musical rock bands in the world.  That, in a nutshell, is the story of Los Lobos.  In their early years they paid the bills by playing traditional Mexican folk music in restaurants and at school assemblies.

This song comes from their 1984 major-label debut, How Will The Wolf Survive, which may be the most musically varied, emotionally mature record to ever be called ‘rock n’ roll.’  So of course I picked this song, a cover of an old Bayou party anthem.  Because I’m emotionally immature, you see.

“Greet Death” by Explosions In The Sky

Yesterday at work I got sick of listening to satellite radio, so I set up a Pandora account, created a station based on Tom Verlaine and Tortoise, and let it play for a few hours.  This song caught my ear, and while I had never heard of them before, I think this might be my new favorite band.  Consider yourselves warned.

random song

“Ballroom Blitz” by Sweet

I heard this song on the radio this afternoon and it made me wish that I was doing donuts in a ratty old Firebird, smoking a joint, and rocking a Jeff Spicoli hairstyle.  Instead I was puttering along in the Focus with my daughter in the backseat, headed to the Gap outlet.  Either way you slice it, this is a great Friday afternoon song.